exactable:

I wish I could illegally download clothes

(Source: exactable)

aggressive-zebra:

I don’t have a ”type”. If I like you, I like you.

And if I like you, you’re pretty special.

Because I hate everyone.

agonizingtheorist:

You know what I hate? When people get pissed off when you tell them you don’t want them to touch you. Like excuse me, I don’t actually want you to touch my arm. I don’t want a hug right now. I don’t give a shit if you’re family. I don’t care if the phrase “I don’t want to be touched” puts you off. Just don’t fucking touch me.

sassking-trevor:

cassbones:

lesbe-nerdy:

chanellecassidy:

saber-chan:

My parents aren’t home

You know what that means

*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

this is too accurate 

*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*

*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*

Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate

catholicnun:

English teachers can either be the coolest teacher you ever had or the worst thing ever

Me: *follows really amazing blog
Really amazing blog: *follows me back*
Me: oh nooooo
Me: OH NOOOO
Me: WHAT AM I GONNA DO!?!? I HAVE TO KEEP THEM ENTERTAINED
Me: *blush* ohhhh gods,
Me: oh goooods noooo
Really amazing blog: *reblogs my post*
Me: ...
Me: ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW, MOM?

esotericbeefarmer:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.

image

Yes.

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Hell yes.

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Hell.

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Fucking.

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Yes.

I am so, so proud of you.

kayethepterodactyl:

image

who looks at us

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the way Kristen Bell

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looks at sloths.

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